“The Mom Test” shows you how to ask the right questions during customer conversations to get honest, useful feedback to avoid building products that no one wants to use based on misleading answers.

“The Mom Test” is for entrepreneurs, startup founders, and anyone looking to validate or test a business idea (or any idea at all) by talking to customers or users.

After reading “The Mom Test”, you will learn   how to ask the right questions, avoid misleading feedback, and gather honest insights from customers—helping reduce the risk of building a product or feature no one will use.

“The Mom Test” by Rob Fitzpatrick is structured around teaching entrepreneurs how to have effective conversations with potential customers to validate business ideas without being misled.

The premise of the book is that people, including your mom, will want to be polite and supportive when you present your business ideas; leading to biased feedback.

From this book, you will learn how to have conversations with customers that lead to actionable insights, rather than false positives.

This way, you can gather honest, useful feedback that will help you build a product people actually want.

By learning to ask the right questions and interpret customer feedback correctly, entrepreneurs can avoid wasting time on ideas that won’t work and increase their chances of building successful businesses.

Each chapter dives deeper into strategies for getting honest, useful information.

Here’s a  chapter-by-chapter summary of the Mom Test.

Chapter 1: The Mom Test

This chapter introduces the central idea: don’t ask people, especially your mom, if they like your idea.

The reason is simple: people want to be nice and don’t want to hurt your feelings, so they’ll often give overly positive feedback, which can mislead you.

Instead, you should ask questions about their problems, needs, and current behaviours, rather than directly talking about your idea.

Example: Instead of asking your mom, “Would you use my new app to track your groceries?” (because she’ll say yes just to be nice), ask, “How do you currently keep track of your groceries?“

This way, you learn about her actual habits and can see if there’s a genuine problem to solve.

Chapter 2: Avoiding Bad Data

Here, Fitzpatrick explains how entrepreneurs often ask questions in a way that leads to false, unhelpful data.

The main idea is to avoid asking questions that make people give you positive answers out of politeness or hypothetical ones about future actions.

The chapter stresses the importance of focusing on past behaviour and real problems.

Example: Instead of asking, “Would you pay for this service?” ask, “When was the last time you paid for something like this?”

It’s better to understand what they’ve already spent money on rather than what they think they might do.

Chapter 3: Ask About Problems, Not Your Solution

This chapter emphasizes that when talking to customers, your main focus should be understanding their problems, not pitching your solution.

People are much better at describing their own struggles than imagining how your solution might help them.

Example: If you’re building a time-management tool, ask someone, “What’s the most frustrating thing about managing your time right now?” rather than saying, “Do you think this tool will help you manage your time better?”

Chapter 4: Keep It Casual

Fitzpatrick stresses that customer conversations shouldn’t feel like formal interviews.

The best insights come from natural, casual conversations where people feel comfortable enough to share their honest thoughts.

Example: Instead of setting up a formal meeting, try grabbing coffee with someone and casually ask, “Tell me about the last time you struggled with keeping track of your expenses,”.

This can naturally lead to an open, relaxed discussion about their challenges.

Chapter 5: The Path to Honest Signals

This chapter is about understanding which of the signals you got from  customer conversations that are actually useful.

Fitzpatrick calls these “honest signals.” When people give specific, past examples of problems, these are valuable signals.

Vague, future-looking statements (like “I’d definitely buy this”) are not useful.

Example: A strong signal would be someone saying, “Last week I spent hours trying to organize my expenses and it was a nightmare.”

This shows there’s a real problem. A weak signal would be, “That sounds like a great idea, I might use that.” You can’t rely on “might.”

Chapter 6: Commitment and Advancement

This chapter explains how to tell if someone is really interested in your product.

The best way to measure interest is through actions, not words.

If a customer is willing to commit time, money, or resources, it’s a strong sign. Words of encouragement alone don’t mean much.

Example: If someone says, “I love your product idea,” but doesn’t want to pre-order or sign up for updates, it’s not a strong signal.

But if they say, “Can I give you a deposit to get early access?” or “Let me introduce you to my boss who might be interested,” those are signs they’re serious.

Chapter 7: Find Early Adopters

Not everyone is an early adopter—someone willing to try new products before they’re fully polished.

This chapter is about finding those people who are actively looking for solutions to their problems, even if your product isn’t perfect yet.

Early adopters will help you shape your product based on real needs.

Example: If you’re building a budgeting tool, an early adopter might be someone who already uses multiple spreadsheets and apps to manage their money.

They’re frustrated and willing to try something new. Casual users who aren’t looking for solutions yet aren’t as helpful at this stage.

Chapter 8: Avoiding Common Traps

Fitzpatrick lists several common traps entrepreneurs fall into when talking to customers:

1. Pitching too soon: Instead of pitching your idea to potential customers, listen to their problems first.
2. Talking to the wrong people: Focus on people who actually experience the problem you want to solve, not just friends and family.
3. Asking for opinions: Opinions are hypothetical and often useless. Focus on learning about real behaviour instead.

   Example: If you pitch too early, you might hear, “That sounds cool!” and think you’re on the right track. But if you hadn’t pitched and instead asked, “How do you currently handle this?” you might learn they don’t see the problem at all.

Chapter 9: Running the Process

This chapter covers how to keep track of the feedback you’re getting from customer conversations.

It’s important to record what you learn in a structured way to see patterns and make data-driven decisions.

Fitzpatrick advises keeping detailed notes on what people say about their problems and what actions they take (or don’t take).

Example: After each customer conversation, write down the specifics: “Customer X said they spend 4 hours a week trying to manage their budget,” or “Customer Y didn’t express interest in solving the problem.”

Look for patterns across multiple conversations to guide your decisions.

Chapter 10: Maintaining Momentum

In the final chapter, Fitzpatrick explains how to keep the momentum going once you start gathering feedback.

He suggests regularly scheduling customer conversations and continuing to refine your questions.

The more you learn, the better your product will become, and the more likely you are to build something people actually want.

Example: If you’re testing a new feature for your app, don’t just talk to a couple of people and stop. Keep reaching out to potential customers, especially as you develop new versions of your product.

This helps ensure you’re always building based on real customer needs.

Here are some practical action points from “The Mom Test” that you can start implementing right now to validate your business ideas effectively:

1. Stop Asking Leading Questions

Action: Instead of asking, “Do you think my idea is good?” or “Would you use this product?” ask, “Can you tell me about the last time you faced this problem?” or “How are you currently solving this issue?”

Why: This will give you real insights into customer behaviour and their current struggles without influencing their answers.

2. Focus on Real Behaviour, Not Opinions

Action: Next time you talk to someone about your idea, ask them what they have actually done to solve a similar problem in the past, instead of asking if they would do something in the future.

Why: People are bad at predicting future actions, but past behaviour shows what they truly need.

3. Have 3 Customer Conversations This Week
Action:

Set up three casual conversations with potential customers this week.

Focus on learning about their problems and how they currently handle them.

Why: Regular customer conversations are key to gathering honest, actionable feedback.

4. Test for Strong Signals

Action: After talking to a customer, ask them to commit in some way.

This could be signing up for a mailing list, giving a referral, or pre-ordering.

Why: Genuine interest is shown through actions, not words.

5. Talk to Strangers, Not Friends

Action: Reach out to people who fit your target customer profile but aren’t part of your immediate social circle.

Why: Friends and family may give you biased, overly positive feedback, while strangers will be more honest.

6. Document Customer Feedback

Action: After each conversation, take 10 minutes to write down what you learned—specifically any pain points and frustrations they mentioned.

Why: Documenting insights helps you look for patterns and base decisions on real data.

7. Schedule Regular Customer Conversations
Action:

Set a goal to talk to at least 5 potential customers every week.

Keep the focus on learning about their problems, not pitching your solution.

Why: Continuous conversations help you refine your understanding of the problem and your solution’s relevance over time.

8. Test with Small Commitments
Action:

After a conversation, ask the person for a small commitment like subscribing to a mailing list, following up with a meeting, or sharing the idea with a colleague.

Why: Small commitments signal genuine interest, whereas simple verbal agreement might not mean much.

9. Create a Problem Hypothesis
Action:

Write down a clear statement about the problem your potential customers face.

For example: “Small business owners struggle to keep track of their expenses using spreadsheets.”

Why: Defining the problem ensures you’re testing whether the problem is real, rather than assuming it exists.

10. Ask for Referrals
Action:

If someone shows interest but isn’t ready to commit, ask them to refer you to someone they think would benefit from your product or solution.

Why: If someone is genuinely interested, they’ll help you find others who might also find value, expanding your customer base.

11. Avoid Vanity Metrics
Action:

Don’t measure success based on how many people say they “like” your idea.

Instead, track meaningful actions like pre-orders, sign-ups, or introductions.

Why: Likes and positive feedback are “vanity metrics” that can mislead you. Real actions indicate true interest.

12. Refine Your Questions After Each Conversation
Action:

After each customer conversation, review your questions.

Did they give you actionable feedback? If not, adjust your approach for the next conversation.

Why: Continuous refinement will help you get better insights over time.

12. Identify and Prioritize Real Pain Points
Action:

As you gather feedback, identify the top 3 pain points your customers consistently mention.

Focus your efforts on solving these.

Why: Solving a real pain point makes your solution more valuable, rather than building something that’s just a “nice-to-have.”

13. Look for Patterns in Feedback
Action:

After 10-15 customer conversations, review your notes to identify recurring themes or problems.

Prioritize solving these issues.

Why: Patterns in feedback show you where the real demand is, helping you refine your solution.

1.“You aren’t allowed to tell them what their problem is. Even if you’re right, they’ll still get defensive.”

This highlights the importance of letting customers share their own experiences rather than imposing assumptions on them.

2.“It’s not the customer’s job to tell you what to build. It’s your job to find out if there’s a need and build the right solution.”

A reminder that customer feedback should guide you, but it’s up to you to create the right product.

3.“People say you shouldn’t ask your mom whether your business is a good idea. But it’s not because she’s your mom, it’s because she’s polite.”

Asking leading questions can get you positive but useless feedback.

4.“Opinions are worthless. You want facts, commitment, and actions.”

This underscores the importance of focusing on real customer behaviour and commitments rather than vague opinions.

5.“Compliments are the fool’s gold of customer learning: shiny, distracting, and worthless.”

Positive feedback without substance can lead you astray, so it’s essential to dig deeper.

6.“The truth is that it’s hard to know what people really want without observing their behaviour.”

People’s actions are far more valuable than their words when it comes to validating business ideas.

7.“The world’s most deadly trap is running into friends, investors, and early customers who say, ‘I love it!’ but who never seem to actually do anything.”

A warning about mistaking enthusiasm for real commitment or demand.

8.“Startups are about finding the truth, not selling your version of it.”

The goal of customer conversations is to uncover real needs, not to pitch your idea

9.“Good customer conversations are about learning, not selling.”

This emphasizes that the goal is to gather information, not to convince someone to like your idea.

10.“If you’re talking about your idea, you’re doing it wrong.”

A key principle from the book: the conversation should focus on the customer’s problem, not your solution.

11.“People don’t care about your idea. They care about their own problems.”

A reminder that customers are primarily interested in how you can help them, not in your concept itself.

12.“Bad data is worse than no data.”

Gathering inaccurate or biased feedback can lead you to make bad decisions, so it’s better to have fewer, more reliable insights.

13.“Everyone lies to you. They say they want your product, but then they never use it.”

This quote highlights the danger of taking verbal enthusiasm at face value without seeing actions or commitments.

14.“People will want to spare your feelings. They’ll lie to protect you or make you feel good, even if it’s harmful to your business.”

A warning about the politeness trap, where well-meaning feedback can mislead you.

15.“It’s your responsibility to uncover the truth; it’s not their job to spoon-feed it to you.”

This reminds entrepreneurs that they must actively seek out real, useful insights, rather than expecting customers to hand them clear answers.

16.“Success comes from getting out of the building and learning what people really want, not from sitting in your office thinking you already know.”

A call to action to go out, engage with real customers, and avoid assumptions about what they need.

17.“Every time someone agrees to a follow-up meeting, it means they care. Every time someone introduces you to a colleague, it means they care. Actions are key.”

This emphasizes that real interest is shown through actions, not just polite words.

18.“The more you’re talking, the worse you’re doing.”

A reminder to let the customer speak more during conversations so you can learn about their needs and challenges.

19.“The conversation you want is one where the other person tells you about their life, their problems, and how they’re currently dealing with those problems.”

This encourages entrepreneurs to focus on the customer’s world, not their own product or ideas.

20.“People say, ‘I’ll buy that,’ and they don’t. They say, ‘I’ll use that,’ and they won’t. Commitments matter. Words are cheap.”

The book stresses the importance of testing real commitment from customers, like pre-orders or referrals.

21.“Startups exist to learn. You want to be proven wrong as quickly and cheaply as possible.”

This underscores the value of learning fast through customer validation, even if that means discovering your initial idea was flawed.

22.“Until you’ve committed to the truth, you’re going to make bad decisions.”

A call to be open to whatever feedback you get, even if it challenges your assumptions.

23.“Your mom’s going to tell you it’s a great idea, and she’s going to be proud of you. But it’s irrelevant.”

This reinforces that biased feedback from friends and family isn’t useful in validating a business idea.

24.“Asking good questions takes practice. Expect to be awkward at first, but keep at it.”

It’s a skill that improves with time, so you need to put in the effort to get better at customer conversations.

25.“If you can’t get people to explain their problem to you, it’s probably not a problem.”

If customers can’t articulate their pain points, it’s likely that the problem isn’t significant enough for them to care about.

26.“Just because they liked your idea doesn’t mean they will open their wallet for it.”

A reminder that getting people to like your concept is not the same as getting them to actually buy or commit to it.

27.“People don’t care about your solution. They care about their problems.”

Focus on understanding the customer’s pain points rather than convincing them that your solution is the best.

28. “You should be terrified of anyone who answers ‘yes’ to your question of ‘would you buy this?’”

Verbal promises are not a reliable measure of future behaviour; only real commitments (like payments or sign-ups) count.

29.“The goal of your early-stage conversations is to learn what they’re already doing, rather than what they say they want.”

It’s important to understand customers’ current habits and pain points rather than hypothetical desires.

30.“Generous listening is not the same as being gullible.”

While it’s important to listen to customers, you should still critically evaluate what they say and how it aligns with real actions.

31.“Bad news is the best news. It tells you what you need to improve, rather than patting you on the back for what you’re already doing well.”

Negative feedback can be much more valuable than praise because it points you to areas for growth.

32.“People will lie to you without realizing they’re doing it, and it’s your job to figure out where the truth lies.”

Even well-intentioned people might give misleading feedback, so you need to be able to read between the lines.

33.“Questions like ‘Do you think it’s a good idea?’ or ‘Would you buy it?’ will give you unreliable answers.”

Such questions lead to polite but unreliable feedback. Instead, ask about past behaviour or real challenges.

34.“You don’t need permission to learn. You don’t need to talk to anyone or even build anything. You just need to observe.”

Observation of customers’ real-world behaviour is just as valuable as direct feedback.

35.“The best conversations don’t feel like interviews; they feel like learning about someone’s life.”

Keep customer interviews casual and natural to get more genuine and useful insights.

36.“It’s more important to learn what they want than to tell them what you’ve got.”

Prioritize learning over pitching, and focus on how you can help solve their real problems.

37.“When people give vague praise, follow up with a question like, ‘What do you mean by that?’”

Dig deeper when you receive non-specific feedback to get to the real meaning and valuable insights.

38.“The truth doesn’t count unless it’s painful to hear.”

Honest feedback often feels uncomfortable, but it’s the most useful in guiding you toward a better solution.

39.“Your product is something you create, but the business is something you discover.”

Building a business requires discovering what customers truly need and will pay for, not just creating a product.

40.“If you’re not scared of shipping it, you waited too long.”

This highlights the importance of launching your product early, even if it’s imperfect, to start gathering real feedback.

41.“You’re looking for people’s problems, not their opinions.”

Focus on identifying real problems that customers face, not their opinions about your idea or solution.

42.“When you hear the same issue multiple times, pay attention—it might be the gold you’re looking for.”

Repeated feedback signals a real problem that is worth solving.

43.“You can’t change someone’s behaviour, but you can make their existing behaviour easier or better.”

Instead of trying to get customers to adopt a new habit, focus on improving what they already do.

44.“The more specific someone’s problem, the more useful their feedback.”

General feedback isn’t helpful. Drill down into specific issues to gather actionable insights.

45.“The most dangerous lies are the ones you tell yourself.”

Be wary of ignoring negative feedback or convincing yourself that your idea is perfect without real validation.

46.“People buy solutions to their problems, not your idea or technology.”

Customers are interested in how your solution can help them solve a problem, not the brilliance of your concept.

47.“You need to dig beneath the surface of customer conversations to find the truth that will help you improve your business.”

Surface-level feedback often hides deeper insights, so always ask follow-up questions.

48.“If they can’t tell you how they solve the problem right now, it might not be a problem worth solving.”

Customers who don’t currently have a solution may not perceive the problem as urgent or important enough to pay for.

49.“Entrepreneurs often waste years because they’re chasing a problem that doesn’t exist.”

This emphasizes the importance of validating that a real problem exists before committing too much time or resources.

50.“It’s better to be proven wrong by facts than to waste time chasing fantasies.”

Embrace learning the truth, even if it means pivoting or discarding your original idea.

Here are other interesting and recommended reading list related to the themes explored in “The Mom Test”, for further reading:

1. Masters of Scale podcast summary: How AirBNB was handcrafted by Chesky & Co.
2. The Lean Startup by Eric Ries summary
3. Book summary of “Testing Business Ideas by

   David J. Bland & alexander osterwalder